WHY do you behave the way you do? Why do you look at food as both best friend and worst enemy? Why do you believe that after today's binge, you will follow the food plan? Why do you put off exercising even 10 minutes a day? Why do you resist planning your meals? Why do you challenge the importance of keeping a journal? Why do you not consider professional help when your way is not working?
So many people search for the answers. When responding to others, most are experts on why people behave, feel and react. You have the answers, but it's more comfortable playing the game of denial. Denial is a safe place. It keeps the alcoholic drinking, the drug abuser using and the food addict eating compulsively. Denial helps you to ignore issues that need to be challenged.
Denial keeps you free from pain. Or does it? Denial keeps people in relationships and jobs that test your confidence daily. Denial keeps you in all kinds of self-destructive relationship. Why? Most people with disordered eating are pretty smart. They often manage to take care of everything -- except themselves. Denial is great because it is familiar and nothing is as comforting as the familiar, no matter how much pain is involved. Denial feeds into disordered eating. Food keeps you calm -- it's the primary drug of choice for numbing feelings.
If you are willing to work on your health, make a list of the things that are keeping you stuck. Now let us assume that you have identified at least one "why.” What are you going to do? You can blame another person, a horrendous past, unrequited love, a medical illness, a work situation or a loss through death. You can do that and keep doing what you do. You can stay just where you are today. That's one choice and it must be pretty easy because those who read articles like this have typically been battling food issues for years.
The next choice takes courage and perseverance. You can choose health. You can allow yourself to experience feelings. You can allow yourself to work through issues of the past that impact you today. You can receive professional help if your current support system is not enough. You can take it one day at a time and work to be the nicest and most productive person you can be today. Sometimes it's painful and often, you have to act like the person you would like to be, not the one you think you are.
You have to use your voices in communicating. You have to set boundaries if something doesn't feel right. You have to make plans for how to challenge whatever was an obstacle in the past. You have to explore unrealistic expectations of others and not set yourself up to be disappointed. You have to take full responsibility for the changes you want and do whatever it takes to reach them. You have to set short-term goals and stop longing for the long-term goals. They will happen, but this is a process and any good work takes time. The tough part is that growing pains can seem debilitating, so many revert to the safety of abusing food.
Sometimes the struggle with food becomes so consuming, you forget that any change is not about compulsive eating. The food is simply an unhealthy consequence of how you react to people and events. There is no getting around the fact that feelings can cripple you for awhile, however, they won't kill you. You have the ability. Look at all you have accomplished so far in your life. Now it's time to make a decision. So, allow yourself to feel and grow and experience the peace you deserve.