"I hate that question"

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CaRpE_dIeM  #436468  Sun, 10 Aug 08 11:39 PM
 Golden Girl wrote:

 Lost wrote:

As far as those illogical questions are concerned, It's a global chat place and we should understand and cooperate with the new and existing members. Com' on guys, We know that any matured person may not ask such illogical questions by reading your nickname. This is the place where even kids who are around 12 or 13 or 14 years old visit and sometimes they ask such illogical and silly questions, Inspite of over reacting to their questions, It'd be great to cooperate with them and let them feel comfortable!
  

1- Mature people, as you name them because I don't think maturity has to do with age, ask such questions too. 

2- We make everyoe comfortable here. If you realized none of us gave names here. We just share our problems with each other. We don't blame anyone on TCP saying "you idiot, why did you ask this question?!! How rude you are!"   



3.- ALL the members in this chat are 13 years or above, Lost.
  
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Miss Innocent  #436495  Mon, 11 Aug 08 01:01 AM

I don't think Losts' words are wrong and in fact I find some logic in his words.

"The root of every successful and true friendship or any relationship is based on truth and the facts!"

I completely agree to this statement, if you avoid some basic questions and later find out the truth, then there is no point of that friendship. It shows lack of trust and it is pointless to carry on further.

I know many people find this question "ASL" quite irritating. When someone questions me regarding ASL, I don't answer it clearly, but I do let them know in a way that they are not kept in mystery. Many people on TCP know my age, not a big deal.

I just think, like Lost clearly mentioned quite correctly, "it's unfair". Many people ask others their age and when it comes to them, they just avoid it and that is very unfair according to me and moreover there is no harm to disclose the age and speak truth if the intentions of both the persons are good and if they respect each other.

And yes, age doesn't matter as we are all here to make friends and hopefully, "friends forever". So if you want to know each other better and just familiarise yourself, then what's wrong in just saying your age. If you reveal your age, then the opposite person will find themselves at ease. It's your own age and if people are truly looking for good friends, then your age won't really matter, whether you are 15, 25 or 45.

But it's just that when someone new comes on TCP, wanting to make friends and they are probably used to asking this sort of question(ASL) as they might be thinking, its normal to ask on a chat page. We would like many people to come to TCP and make them feel comfortable and make them realise that this page is just unique and very friendly. So make them feel at home and just answer a simple question, "your age".

The main thing is that if someone asks you your age and they have already introduced themselves quite clearly, then it just makes all the sense and it is fair to let the opposite person know about your age or give them some sort of clue so they have a rough idea as to who they are conversing with.

I also would like to make a quick point regarding CaRpE_dIeM 's point about,

"Maybe it's the person who asks who is being unfair!"

I don't quite agree with this statement. I don't think the person asking is "unfair" because  they are just trying to get to know you and majority of the time firstly they let you know their ASL and then they ask you yours. And it's not a big deal really. People should be fair enough while having a proper and a friendly chat.

And like Conoro said which I quite agree to,

"Since when has the age or anything else been the prime reason for what we feel toward the other?!!"

True, if you say you are 40 then it won't change the persons feelings or they won't ignore you. Similarly if someone says they are 13, we will give them the same treatment as any other member at TCP. It's just so that we get to know each other better and it shouldn't really cause any issues.

So yeah, I would just like to say one more thing that I do completely agree with Lost and almost all of his thoughts and opinions are true and people shall at least disclose the basic things such as age or gender for a comfortable conversation.

Opinions differ from person to person and he has just expressed his opinions and I’m quite sure that he is not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings or be disrespectful in any way. As far as I understand, he has just given a general perspective through his opinions "to rather accept the truth and disclose the information depending upon the questions asked by the opposite person than avoiding them for a comfortable chat". These are only his opinions, and we have the freedom to accept or reject them. And this was just my opinion and everyone has a right to express their opinions especially as a member of TCP. No one is forced to agree or disagree.

  
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Soft Soul  #436498  Mon, 11 Aug 08 01:06 AM

Mr.Khan, how would you know that the one who you're chatting with is telling the truth, huh? isn't the internet a virtual world where anybody can create a character which is completely different from his/her real character? Do you think that since they disclosed themselves, they've said the truth? Actually,What you said are just assumptions that are not completely right. How do you know that those people come here just to "Time pass" as you called it or even they think that they are over smart?  Have you got a chance to have a look on what in their minds or even inside their hearts? Is it their fault that they didn't provide you with those basic things or simple answers?!

Well, Since you said that everyone has a right to maintain his privacy, I don't think that there was a need to mention the later things, honestly! The whole topic is about saying the questions you hate to be directed to you, That's all! Why do you like to make things so complicated?

 CaRpE_dIeM wrote:
Al! You can't leave TCP just because of this!

I know that lots of people like you and when you are in the chat, the place is so active. They join the chat because they are fond of you, just think of the people who like you and you like, is it worth to leave a place you are fond of just because someone decided to be disrespectful?  It's NOT! If that were true, half of us wouldn't be here!

Please, think about it, I really hope you will come back!   (to get to know you better Smile [:)])

Dear Al! Don't say goodbye! Just say that you need some time to have a deep breathing Smile [:)]

  
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Conoro  #436504  Mon, 11 Aug 08 01:18 AM
Bye TCPIANS...I love you all, and you all will always hold a special place in my heart..

Is that so? is this your way of proving your words AL?
while I'm writing the first sentence above, I am trying to feel your words, and do you know what I feel?
I feel you meant, am I right? but what I don't understand is you're going and since I know you're reading my words right now, I hope it touches... I used to let my heart to speak, but it can't because we don't know each other..so why are you doing that Conoro?!..well because I'm angry so bear with my harshness and stupidity.

AlBridal, you don't have the right to go, your words tie you down here, can't you take the responsibility of your own words?!! ...this is not about the age or even " I hate that question" thread, it's more about how to deal with our selfish selves..... we people all use words.........Love, friend, buddy... and if something wrong, we turn our faces away...ah how strong we are!! this happened several times..and this is not about you " AlBridal"  since you've not left yet.......

if we are looking for a friend, love, knowledge or whatever the reason, I think we should start writing our initial intention of coming here in our singature...just to make everything clear from the beginning since we can't deal with the differences between us and since we're not qualified to take the responsibility....

waiting for your reply, AlBridal....

  
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Miss Innocent  #436508  Mon, 11 Aug 08 01:31 AM

SS, its your opinion and we respect it, but I would like to say just couple of things.

"How would you know that the one who you're chatting with is telling the truth?"

This is where trust and understanding comes. We are looking for true and good friends and we should trust each other as to what they say because we all have the same intention ( of making good friends) so we shouldnt cheat one another and speak honestly. Whatever your friend says you must trust them, thats what I think anyways.

"Have you got a chance to have a look on what in their minds or even inside their hearts?"

No one can read someone's mind or look at a persons' heart. My main point is "trust" each other, be friendly and make each other feel comfortable. We say things about each other because we want to know each other well and know them quite well.

"Is it their fault that they didn't provide you with those basic things or simple answers?!"

Well, its not the person who asked a simple question regarding their age. They just wanted to know you better and thought that they can bulid that bond of friendship, loyalty and trust. They didn't know they were offending the opposite person by asking a simple question.

"Everyone has a right to maintain his privacy"

Yes,  agree but what is our purpose of coming here? To know each other, have a happy friendly relation where we can trust each other and share our feelings and thoughts, so as a friend just to ask your age, I dont find it a big deal. Again, Im going to say, its just to have a comfortable and a proper chat.

Once again, Im going to say that we all have the right to express our opinions and thoughts and I think Khan has done that here and we don't have to agree or disagree with it.

  
Anonymous  #436541  Mon, 11 Aug 08 08:02 AM

I don't know what started it, but this is getting out of hand. Lost response was quite irrational that AlBridal was so dissapointed and wants to get out of TCP. I hope some mods like CarpeDiem, Myra and many others succeed in having Al to reconsider her decision. She's a wonderful person, Intelligent and very friendly to all here in TCP.

To Al, I'd like to tell you that I think Lost's opinion isn't shared by the majority of TCP members and frequent visitors. Even Carpe readily saw the flaws in Lost's observation. Please try to remember he isn't the whole TCP. As Carpe said, you can't leave just like that. How about us, your friends here, who wants you to stay. Wouldn't it be unfair too, if you leave us here? Pls. reconsider because we love you here. Btw, this is Nelson.

  
Leigh  #436557  Mon, 11 Aug 08 09:28 AM

How on earth did this post become the  root of so many bad feelings in just a few days?? It's INSANE!!

Al, if you're still around, you can't leave. You just can't! Not over this.. This has turned into one of those petty little arguments started by people not understanding when they're opinions can cause hurt.It happens a lot, you have to admit that. This is TCP... We can't expect to understand everyone. Just learn to value and respect them. Khan, without causing offence to him, has done  just that - misunderstood when to keep quiet.

Please don't leave Al. Ana's right.. we do love chatting to you. I'd hate never to hear from you again, about your daughter, your business.. or just for a general chat! You really are valued here.

And hey, you really can't go. Not now.. We still have all that shopping to do! Wink [;)]

I sincerely hope you'll reconsider, Al

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PunkyBrewster  #436560  Mon, 11 Aug 08 09:39 AM
Geez how did this get so out of hand? Lost you went a little too far, making a simple thread quite complicated so I don't understand how you can write "I just find this post a little bit interesting though a little bit complicated too." You kind of added to the complication, and it didn't help making this thread about friendships, because this is not at all what this is about! We all know how to make friends and this question has nothing to do with that. This was a general question asking which question one just does not like answering, it's as simple as that. There is no reason to get emotional, personal, or anything else.
No offence intended but I just need things to calm down here on TCP. We all have to learn to READ and not take things personally and not make everything about ourselves. Thanks for understanding.
  
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Conoro  #436587  Mon, 11 Aug 08 11:54 AM
Ok I changed my mind, since AlBridal wanted to leave....ummm I was thinking it'd serve me in many aspects and one of the most important thing AlBridal is that...you're leaving the position of " mean girls club leader"...so Now I can live at ease...no considered challenger... wow.. you're handing those innocent girls to someone like me..." unknown person"??!!..from virtual world??...keep in mind I'm so dangerous guy here....haven't you heard of my blue belt kyokushin karate?..... ok don't care,, you'll see those girls in your dreams suffering....because of you...AlBridal, thank you in advance.Angry [:@]
  
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