Island Chateau

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Hackerj136  #447190  Thu, 06 Nov 08 11:20 PM
 

Morning comes; the sun rises and opens a new age

Shadows of palm and banana trees stands on the sandy stage

Blue and white clouds encasing the horizon like a cage

There’s a fellow sitting over there dressed in beige

In his hand, a pencil and paper to write his thoughts

In his mind, great ideas and sorrowful words he sought

Red sunlight lands on his face, glaring his view

Out in the streets, savory scent rise, perhaps those of morning stew

In the wind, pungent smell of ocean breeze come and go

Silently, the strong, glaring sun stows

Giving the young fellow a chance to look ahead of time

Melody of his blood streams starts to sing

His whamming pulse stuck on him like a golden ring

Sweet scent of hibiscus fills the rocks and the beaches

Yellow, fluttering butterflies swarm them like leeches

Then, a striking smell of mocha coffee comes to the nose

Spraying thoughts of breakfast like a fire hose

Another day is just beginning under the sun

And this factor is on the run again, so-called fun

All his feelings reflect the calm, Morning Sea

With swift dolphins jumping, letting themselves be

A calm, green palm leaf reaching his shoulder tenderly

The water feels smooth, flowing like a smoothie down the throat

Another greeting saluted highly by a local fishing boat

Suddenly, blatant sound of a pencil pierces his mind

All there that is suddenly left behind

Is a brown journal and a sharp fountain pen on a red table

Darkness scatters around the cell like scattered marbles

All he see now is a row of steel bars and a locked door

And more darkness hurls around the dingy floor

Sound of the owl calls it a day for now

Everything changed in a snap, he does not know how

Island Chateau, a paradise or virtual hell.

  
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AlBridal  #447267  Fri, 07 Nov 08 04:12 PM
Very nice! You my friend is one talented fellow.
  
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Cano  #447307  Sat, 08 Nov 08 12:20 AM
Hey Hey my little bro never stop your brilliant work!

Thanks for sharing with us!
  
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Hackerj136  #447476  Sun, 09 Nov 08 09:54 PM
 Thank you for your compliments, Al and LL Smile I will work harder on my writing to satisfy the needs of the readers' literary taste
  
Anonymous  #447518  Mon, 10 Nov 08 09:55 AM

Nice work. I assume the young fellow sitting there in your writing were you. I don’t know why there was a sudden change of mood in later part of this composition of yours. You seemed indecisive on whether the island is paradise or virtual hell. Perhaps your stay there in the island chateau is a combination of joy and sadness that probably gave you mixed feelings about this place you live in or maybe this was just a work of your pure imagination as a writer. However it may be, you still give us another good writing skills. I’m not familiar with  literary works nor have backgrounds on it. But just reading this piece of yours would make anyone interested in doing the same albeit we know not anyone can do it as good as you. I’ve enjoyed reading it. You have talent of giving life to your literary composition. Thanks for sharing.

  
Hackerj136  #447580  Tue, 11 Nov 08 08:32 AM
Thank you for you constructive compliments; I wanted my readers to take both sides to their account because my opinion might not be always the right or the best perspective. I am still wanting to improve a lot more in my writing because somehow, I feel like I am writing things that is always the same... 
  
CN_Mark  #447588  Tue, 11 Nov 08 11:08 AM
It seems to me that you got your inspiration mostly from the sea. I have no idea of what it's like to live near the sea 'cause I live in the mainland.But through your work,I can somehow figure out one or two things about the sea,that's truly wonderful.
  
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Hackerj136  #447652  Wed, 12 Nov 08 04:41 AM

 

CN_Mark, you should experience the ocean for yourself and see how it feels because writing about it won't do. Experience would do best :) Thanks for your comments
  
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