If you ever find yourself lashing out at others, take a moment to consider why you are doing it. My guess is that the cause of your anger or frustration is not the external behavior or conditions you are witnessing, but rather something inside yourself.
Let's say that you have a miserable day at work and then come home to see your child's messy room. Immediately, you explode and start screaming, venting the negative emotions you've restrained all day.
Now, let's change the scenario slightly. At work that day, you received a promotion and your salary has been doubled! Again, you come home to the same messy room. This time, however, you are smiling and singing, and you don't even notice your child's clutter.
Instead, you shout with glee: "We're going out to dinner to celebrate!"
In each case, the room was just as messy... but your response was quite different in the second example.
That's because, in both instances, your behavior reflected your inner state. The other person or event merely brought out what was already inside you.
So, the next time you feel annoyed, angry or frustrated, don't focus on the external event which has triggered your emotion. Instead, ask yourself, "What is it in my life that I am unhappy, disappointed or upset about?"
When you experience lingering frustration or anger, your emotions are signals that you need to make changes or adjustments in your life. Attacking others is never the solution to your unhappiness.
Therefore, get to work on alleviating the underlying source(s) of your discontent. When you feel good about yourself, the things which bothered you in the past will seem less important, and will no longer have any power to upset you.
- Jeff Keller